Farts and Magic

Updated: Mar 10

Dear Edmonia,

In my travels through the Nordic countries I have discovered farts. Or that one of the secrets of male witchcraft is farts. You always hear the old “Bubble bubble toil and trouble.” Yet you never hear of the fart, fart, fart, and farts.

I know it is a bit odd but you all know the file we have on witches. How throughout time people across Europe and the New World were hung for being involved in “witchcraft”.

What I have found however, is that where fart magic was popular-- Normandy, Norway, Russia, and Iceland-- witches that were male were the majority of those executed. Iceland was the highest of these countries being 92 percent of men being executed. Iceland was also the originator of said fart magic.

Fart magic or Fretrúnir (“fart runes”) were runes that would not only make you fart but force you to empty your bowls in such a profuse manner that it would feel as if bones were breaking in your rectum. I must say I hope to never have the misfortune to experience this!

The rune was written from blood from your thigh on white calfskin as spoke an incantation against the person you were cursing. I know it’s wild and is hilarious to you and you can’t believe me. But I have a piece of history here that will prove otherwise.

As I write this I am making sure I keep an extra toilet paper roll when traveling as I would hate to damage my trousers.

Stressfully under books,

The Professor

**Letter sent November 24th from The Professor to Edmonia and added to the Repository for research purposes.**

81 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All